The Other Side 4-15-2013

I'm now on the other side of my life.  My childhood past, but not forgotten fades just a little.  My children are getting older one off to college soon, the other 15 going on 30.  It is in some ways a good place to be and I'm not disappointed in it, was only hoping to be a little further along on the life path of what I really wanted.  We don't always get what we want, so we make the best of what we do have.  Only in myself am I disappointed, not in anyone else. 

I only wish that I had been a little stronger and reached for what I wanted and not let anyone else tell me any different.   I had ample opportunities to take a hold of many different things but was afraid.   Afraid of failing, afraid of someone not approving.  I let fear control a big part of my life, but I'm on the other side now and I can see there was nothing to be afraid of, I held myself back.  I will no longer do that.  I will speak up for myself, and I will be heard.  My thoughts will find fruition in anything I can make happen.

P. Contreras

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.
T. S. Eliot 

Pride and Joy 3-12-2013

My Pride and Joy

It's so heartwarming when your children do something that, well you know they are capable of, but that they do it on their own.  Makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and like you yourself have accomplished something.

My children tease each other endlessly, so it is on the occasion when they do something out of the blue that makes me feel so proud like I myself have accomplished the task, that makes me just glow inside.  They are both growing up so fast, my son actually an adult now, with his sister directly behind him.  They are going to be an asset to society this I have no doubt about.  In one way or another they are going to be the movers and shakers.  They are an extension of you, especially when it is something you have always wanted and that that part of your dream has come true.

I did not simply have children, both of mine were planned.  There was a point when I didn't even think that I would be able to have children, so the blessing is ten fold.  My son so much more like me very mellow, while his sister more like her father very driven.  I love watching the dreams unfold of what they would like to be when they grow up.  It has not differed very much in the last 10 years.  Achieving this is the next task and I hope that for their sake life will shine a little brighter than it did on me.  That they keep sight of what they want and don't let anybody tell them that they can't do it.

My dreams are now that my children's dreams come true.  That all of their flights of fancy land within their reach and that they hold on tight no matter how rough the ride is, and never let go.  

P. Contreras