Oh Stop...never mind keep going 4-29-2013

Some times in life it takes someone else looking at you and telling you how wonderful you are, before you actually believe it.  I remember when I was in high school, I never dated.  I wondered sometimes why no one ever asked me out.  I wasn't popular, but I was involved.  Some people told me that I seemed like a bitch, but I was just very shy.  Getting to the point, I'm happily married to a man who I know adores me and I have two wonderful children.  But sometimes it is someone else looking in that makes you realize really how truly blessed you are.  And how much you have to offer to the world and how much you already have.  

I soon will be starting a whole new chapter of my life, one child graduating and going to college, the other right behind.  When other people look  at my children and tell me how much they admire us for raising them they way that we have, well I get a huge grin on my face.  I have succeeded in doing something very special, being a parent, and a pretty darn good parent at that.

Heck ya, it makes me feel like a million bucks when someone else is bragging about my children.  It is a direct reflection of who I would like to be if I could have raised myself.  Self assured, but with manners, smart and respectful, and hardworking.  I don't know what the future holds for my children, but I do know that I think that I have armed them well.   And as for me, well I'm feeling pretty good about myself these days. 

Regret 3-23-2013

Regret

I'm sitting in my office going over things at the end of a busy day.  My son has turned 18 and is having a few friends over to celebrate.  They are a good group of friends and I am so happy that he has them and proud of the people that he has picked to be his friends.  It warms my heart to here them in the next room talking and laughing, at one point I know they must be going through one of his old annuals, they are joking with each other about how they used to look and talking about what happened to this person or that.  

They are so young, and have so many dreams.  I wish I could tell each one of them to hold on tight and not to forget those dreams.  And really live your life before you decide to settle down and not to really ever settle for anything.  It is such a precious commodity, I hear them talking about a young girl who has committed suicide.  I never could and still never can understand a life that is so tormented that one would want to kill themselves, and trust me mine was not a pristine upbringing.  I hope that they all know how precious it is and no matter what that they live on because the best revenge is success.

I have no regrets for my life, such that it has been, because I have succeeded at something that is far greater than anything else in this world.  I have raised two beautiful well adjusted children who I believe will be an asset to this world.  And so the evening is winding down and my son and his friends are in the next room with a guitar, bongos and  a voice and singing and having a good time.

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The Curve Ball 3-4-2013

The Curve Ball

There are times in life that things are just not going to go the way that we planned them, be it love, work or life in general.  This does not mean that you should just give up on everyone else.  There are still people out there that are worth getting up every day for. 

It hasn't been easy, there have been times when I seriously just wanted everything to be over, but I'm so thankful that I stuck it out and have been rewarded with a wonderful family and friends.  They are not all the friends that I have known since childhood, I have picked up many along my path and some I have lost on that same path.  But still everything changes and you never know what life will bring you next.

When you are down, look up and notice that the sun is still shining and that you can see your path.  Maybe not all the way down, but it is there.  Sometimes there will be a fork and you will have to choose, other times that path will stay straight for miles.  All the while be sure to stop and notice all the -good- around you.  It is so easy to get caught up in the bad.

Don't let the curve ball take you off course.  And don't let people that have nothing better to do, get you down.  And trust me there will be a few, a bad boyfriend, or girlfriend or friend in general.  Even family can lead you down the wrong path.  Be weary and be smart.  Know what you want out of life and go out and get it.  No one can make you happy except for you.  The choices you make dictate that.  And always remember to laugh, even at yourself.

I live my life in a realm between the real and my imagination.  It helps when life is really getting you down.
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I like nonsense; it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living … that enables you to laugh at life's realities. ~ Dr. Seuss

Seasons 2-25-2013

Seasons

I have never had a lot of friends.  I have always believed in quality not quantity, so the friends that I do have I treasure.  I have as I have gotten older found it much easier to make friends than when I was younger.  I don't know if it is easier because I'm not as shy, or if it's that I just don't care what people think of me now.  I'm not trying to impress anyone anymore.  Take me as I am, or don't take me at all.

I think of life as the seasons.  The Spring is our youth, the Summer our young adulthood, the Autumn our mature years and the Winter old age.  I am heading into my Autumn, and enjoying every minute of it.  It's at this time that I have found that I must make myself happy, no one else can do it for me, not even my family.  It's not their job, all they need to do is Love me. 

Our friendships have seasons as well.  Some are there in the Spring, some in the Summer, some in Autumn, and some in the Winter.  Some stay for them all, some only one season or maybe two.  But it is all of them that have helped to shape the person that I am today.  I cannot regret any of them, for even those that hurt, still taught me a lesson.  So it is the saying "Hurt me once, shame on you, hurt me twice shame on me".  That lesson is so hard to learn, especially when you trust people, always looking for the best in everyone.  I have become more cautious, I still trust, but maybe not as openly as before, and of course I am constantly looking for the one that will disappoint.

Life will throw you curves, roll with it and enjoy your seasons.

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