Monday, April 29, 2013
Some times in life it takes someone else looking at you and telling you how wonderful you are, before you actually believe it. I remember when I was in high school, I never dated. I wondered sometimes why no one ever asked me out. I wasn't popular, but I was involved. Some people told me that I seemed like a bitch, but I was just very shy. Getting to the point, I'm happily married to a man who I know adores me and I have two wonderful children. But sometimes it is someone else looking in that makes you realize really how truly blessed you are. And how much you have to offer to the world and how much you already have.
I soon will be starting a whole new chapter of my life, one child graduating and going to college, the other right behind. When other people look at my children and tell me how much they admire us for raising them they way that we have, well I get a huge grin on my face. I have succeeded in doing something very special, being a parent, and a pretty darn good parent at that.
Heck ya, it makes me feel like a million bucks when someone else is bragging about my children. It is a direct reflection of who I would like to be if I could have raised myself. Self assured, but with manners, smart and respectful, and hardworking. I don't know what the future holds for my children, but I do know that I think that I have armed them well. And as for me, well I'm feeling pretty good about myself these days.
Monday, April 15, 2013
I'm now on the other side of my life. My childhood past, but not forgotten fades just a little. My children are getting older one off to college soon, the other 15 going on 30. It is in some ways a good place to be and I'm not disappointed in it, was only hoping to be a little further along on the life path of what I really wanted. We don't always get what we want, so we make the best of what we do have. Only in myself am I disappointed, not in anyone else.
I only wish that I had been a little stronger and reached for what I wanted and not let anyone else tell me any different. I had ample opportunities to take a hold of many different things but was afraid. Afraid of failing, afraid of someone not approving. I let fear control a big part of my life, but I'm on the other side now and I can see there was nothing to be afraid of, I held myself back. I will no longer do that. I will speak up for myself, and I will be heard. My thoughts will find fruition in anything I can make happen.
Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.
T. S. Eliot