Almost 50 2-19-2013

My husband and I went on a motorcycle ride this weekend.  It was so wonderful and I enjoyed it immensely.  But when you're almost 50 a 110 mile ride can wear on that old body of yours.  We stopped and had brunch, enjoyed our alone time together and talked about all the things on our agenda right now.  

Very soon I will be turning 50, doesn't bother me anymore, I think that the 30 and 40 mark bothered me more than 50.  Now I am comfortable in this skin, it is at this point, one of my favorites.  Yes its a little heavier to carry around and of course there are wrinkles, but I have earned every one of them.  From the tears to the laughter that has formed all those lines, they are the map of my life.  And I wouldn't change even one of those paths, no matter how hard it was to go down.  

At 50 and having a 16 and 18 year old can be trying at times, not in a way that hurts, but that I want them to do well so that their lives will be easier, it's a constant battle.  Please don't tell me that you don't remember being those ages, especially 18, when your parents still think of you as their child and the world now see's an adult.  I ache for him to make the right decisions, that only he can make.  I can't make them for him, I can only guide.  Love, life and all the laughter in between lie before him, and I hope that for my children's sake that there is more love and laughter than I had, making his life even more richer than mine. 

Spring is almost here, and just like the seasons of our lives, now it is my sons time to bloom.  I pray that I have watered and fed his mind and soul enough for him to make the difficult choices that life will throw at him and that by the time he is almost 50, he can look back and smile as I am now.

P. Contreras