Insights 2-1-2013

I'm trying really hard to look at myself and really find what I want out of life.  I have for so many years subscribed to what everyone else wanted of me.  I didn't get married too young, I was 26 and I didn't have children until 31.  I think that I am a better parent for it, I am wiser, have sewn my wild oats so to speak, and because at one point didn't even think that I would be able to have children, I adore and respect the idea of it even being possible.

I have always tried to make everyone else happy at the expense sometimes, in the end, of my own.  My mother was not always there, so I am always there for my children.  Her marriages, two of them, both failed.  She married young to my father whom she had to divorce because he was abusing us girls, and married another man who was an alcoholic.  So in my own relationship I try to make my husband very happy.  I love him and want to be with him for the rest of my life.  But, what about me!
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I used to think that life was perfect, but it isn't and most of the time it is what you make it.  I'm learning that more and more these days and trying to remember that I must make myself happy, I can not rely on every one else to do that for me.  I'm trying different things and writing really helps.  Come along on my journey as I Bloom.